Rambling…

Yes! Its been forever! So much has happened but what kept me from writing was mostly a broken computer. I discovered that I can’t stand trying to blog with my phone. So… let’s get caught up.

Beth started school, 4th grade, and we had a rough beginning. I discovered that the “best of the best” teachers are quite probably not the “best of the best” when it comes to something like schizophrenia. I was disappointed in how hard it was to just get a reply email or get the teacher to seem involved. So instead I turned back to our Ms. F (our very trusted adjustment counselor) and dumped it all in her lap with a “here, you fix it” and moved on. I was absolutely not disappointed. For now we are sailing rather smoothly and I have my one to two check in conversations with the school a week and we’re all pretty happy. Most importantly Beth is pretty happy.  Chorus began again and she’s been walking (and singing) on air. Music really is her language. 

Jolie has started 2nd grade. Pretty sure her teacher is far more strict than I’ve come across so far. She’s already had a “red letter” sent home because her behavior dropped into the “red zone”. Her offense was talking. This teacher has already used the big guns, over talking. I wasn’t impressed. She shouldn’t have been talking when the teacher was talking but I hardly think that merits a “red letter”. Aside from that incident, Jolie is doing very well in school. She’s having some trouble with a medical issue (details aren’t being shared yet) that has required some testing and that has been interesting. She’s okay and going to be fine but the behavior changes that have come about with the discovery of this problem has been incredible. I feel like we’ve taken 10 steps backwards. I see where it all comes from fear though so we have been coming at the behavior from a different angle. M, our amazing friend, is going to teach her yoga. L, our RAD therapist, has given me tons of fantastic advice and tips about how to get her through this. All in all, I’m very proud of the growth we are both making in this journey!  L and I talked about RAD and where it tends to lead if left untreated and really its very scary. Untreated RAD most often turns into Borderline Personality Disorder. This is something we want to avoid at all costs, if possible. L believes that we will avoid that because we are working with her so intensely now and because I was willing to make the changes I needed to in order help her.

One of the biggest changes I’ve made has nothing to do with schizophrenia or RAD. It doesn’t even involve Project Me (which is still going, but kinda slowly). It involves family. The kids and I have started branching out and joining family at family functions. It was incredibly nerve-wracking, honestly. I don’t know that I’ve ever been so scared of rejection in my life. Really, its rather pathetic. But, I realized that issue was mine and mine alone. I had locked us away for so long that I didn’t know how to open the door. I circled the wagons when schizophrenia came to live at our house and I refused to let anyone through. Everyone was capable of hurting us and we were already hurting. Sometime early this year I noticed that we were ready. We were ready to emerge from our cocoon. We started emerging and we haven’t stopped. We have started to attend church and get involved in church activities. Jolie is going to start yoga, Beth is in chorus, Pete, Jolie, and Beth all want to be involved in the children’s choir at church, and the Monkey is going to start Head Start next month. 

In addition to that, I’ve been walking 2-3 miles a day (with not great consistency). Today I hit 4 miles. My blood sugar is not awful and I’m working on finding time for yoga. I’m thinking that once the Monkey is in Head Start there will be yoga time. I’m also enrolled in 4 classes and set to graduate with my Associates in the Spring 2014. I have plans to jump into the Bachelors and see where I can end up from there.

And that covers that for now.    =)

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