Pink and Blue Polka Dots

Oh, give me the beat boys and free my soul
I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away
Oh, give me the beat boys and free my soul
I wanna get lost in your rock and roll and drift away

~Drift Away (Dobie Grey or Uncle Kracker, pick one)

Its been one of those days. The day itself wasn’t bad, just busy, but in order to wind down tonight its requiring music. Loud, hard, varied but fast paced music. I need to feel it more than I need to hear it. I need it to hurt. So while the kids settle and the husband watches Torchwood reruns I’m connected to YouTube with my awesome ear buds and I’m letting the music just wash over me. It’s better than a hot shower and that’s saying a lot because I highly value my hot showers.

Speaking of music… a local radio station started playing Christmas music tonight! I drove home from the grocery store singing away to Jingle Bell Rock. Christmas/Yule/ Winter Solstice/(insert anything else that its here) is my absolute favorite season. I wasn’t trying to be politically correct there. I love and celebrate all of it. Try to make sense of that if you want to, but really that’s my job to figure out.

Today… I’m so incredibly glad that it’s Friday. I am so excited to not have to drive to any schools tomorrow. I can’t even tell you how exciting that is. Today my neighbor, T, and I carpooled to head start to drop off our little ones and then went to a training for most of the morning. We’ve been spending a lot of time together carpooling and attending meetings and my kids love T and his wife, J. They are a prime example of friends becoming like family. T checks on me daily because he knows I’ve been feeling really crummy lately. After the big kids came home from school J brought her two down and the kids ran around like they were being chased by monsters for a good hour, up until it got dark. It was nice to have them distracted for a bit, and to talk with an adult for a change…lol. I really like carpooling with them, especially since he always lets me drive, and I love their kids.

This morning’s fasting blood sugar was 165, which was one hell of an improvement but right now I’m dancing the 300 line so I’m pretty much all over the place. I have another appointment next week, but I know stress is a big part of this. I’d absolutely kill for a cigarette right now but I’m 6 month and 5 days smoke free and I’m not interested in screwing that up. I know it will only take 1 to start all over again. This week has just been too much. I’m out of control emotionally and that’s causing the high blood sugars and serious cigarette cravings. I don’t know what I need to do to fix this, but I’m determined to see my way out of it, somehow. I have a sneaking suspicion that a lot of this is part of what is referred to as “Mirena Crash”. If that’s the case then I’m going to have to just be strong and patient, and use yoga breathing. TDMM would be thrilled if I could just master yoga breathing. This winter I will be mastering yoga as well, but I won’t be doing myself any favors if I take on too much during this hormonal adjustment period.

Image

Jolie while apple picking with Auntie and Uncle 2013

I need some peace like this child of mine managed to obtain. Maybe I can get her to teach me a thing or two….

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