It just dawned on me that I almost forgot my daily post! I got very caught up in reading my Forensic Psychology text book. I find that topic incredibly fascinating but it’s not where I intend to make my career so I soak it up in my book.
Hmm. Lots to choose from today.
I saw the diabetic nurse today and we made some great changes to my insulin and tonight I actually hit 132. This is HUGE! Pretty happy! I’m going to be seeing an endo soon for a full work up and see if we can fix some other stuff. I felt heard, I felt like someone was listening, and I felt validated. I also felt like she wants to help me and is invested in my success and that’s so rare lately. I’ve gained more weight but that appears to be mostly insulin related and hopefully the new endo can help solve that problem too.
Beth is having a rough time in school again. Her aid is reporting to the adjustment counselor that she’s emotionally spent by the end of the day. The AC (adjustment counselor, because I’m lazy) spent some time with Beth and talked to the adults around Beth and discovered that somehow Beth’s morning break was forgotten because they were too busy. So the morning break is re-instated and an afternoon break has been added and we see how this works. I’m not quite sure how the break was “forgotten” but I’m willing to sit back and watch provided they don’t decide they are too busy for it again. November is typically the month we see her true feelings come out. November is when the reviews are over and more is expected of the kids. I’m not at all surprised that she’s struggling. The extra stress added to her concerns about her voices and hallucinations are taking a toll on her. She’s terrified someone will find out about her “friends” and that she will be made fun of or hurt. So far we haven’t seen any sign of self-injuring but I will definitely be watching out for that. They are having the aid watch just a little more closely, and the teachers around her are supposed to be watching more closely now too.
I read a blog today, written by a mother, that discussed how her son’s mental illness had made it impossible for her to give all of her children the time and attention they needed. I found that her blog hit a huge cord with me as that happens from time to time here. We’ve been lucky in 2013 and it hasn’t been so bad but in previous years we ran into that a lot. It hurt to read, and I think that is because reading it made me feel incredibly guilty and incredibly sad. I know that this is pretty much exactly how Jolie ended up with the attachment disorder. Her therapist says I have to forgive myself for that and I’m really trying and doing very well most days but when I read things like that it all comes flooding back again.
Reading all of that someone might think I’m depressed. Actually I’m doing quite well. I feel seriously overwhelmed this week, but that’s related to the sheer amount of appointments and meetings I need to get through. The husband has some blood work that needs to be done soon so we can see if his kidney functions have improved at all too.
I’m finding calm and peace in my yarn and my music.