Hope

Originally when I started blogging, I was focused solely on what it was like to parent/raise children with unique quirks. Admittedly I found that task too complex. I don’t ever want to over-share and stop on my kids’ privacy and with Beth being 9 it is becoming harder to define what is my story to tell and what is her story to tell. I want to share how psychosis affects our lives and the lives of the children who battle this demon, and I will continue to. I will just do so in a way that won’t humiliate or embarrass her. As I settle into writing I will be covering more about RAD because that is one that needs more awareness.

So what will I be talking about? I am going to switch focus and talk more about my journey back into Project Me. Project me started as a simple plan between friends. A friend I hadn’t had any real contact with since high school. We reconnected over barefoot sandals. A short Facebook conversation over that transaction led to an offer that made me cry. 

As I said yesterday, 2013 started out miserably. When M said she was going to help me, face to face, get a grip on my health I literally cried. I’ve had people whom I love dearly try to help me long distance but may times I need to actually see it. M proved to have great ideas and a huge amount of patience. Unfortunately for the both of us no amount of patience and doing what is “right” was making any real difference. I decided to try an IUD to regulate my cycle and true to my body that made things so much worse. I lost most of my hair, gained more weight than anyone ever expected, blood sugars skyrocketed and we were forced to add on a second insulin. This was so, not, helpful. 

And that leaves us right here. January 2, 2014. And today, we try again. I have an appointment with an endocrinologist on 1/10/14. I will not let this win. Together, with M and my main support systems, we will beat this and I will change my life. This is my year to succeed. I will be documenting my journey here. I hope that getting healthy will answer a lot of my own questions about how my body works, will answer questions for other people who have large amounts of weight to lose, and will gain knowledge and insight into this process for a lot of people. I hope to see an improvement in my anxiety and depression. 

I invite you all to join me, leave me comments, follow along in my journey. 

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